Taking the Scenic Route

I am feeling reasonably calm and happy right now.  Most of our circumstances haven’t actually changed, but I am doing much better.  I think it is because I am feeling very loved and cared about right now, and that has helped in ways you can’t imagine.

I can feel the prayers.  It is almost like a blanket, or a soft buzz in my head that drowns out my worries and stress.  Every once in a while something will pierce it, but it soon heals itself and I am fine again.  I also had a “Christmas Angel” step forward and help us out so our most basic needs are met, including gas for all the trips to the doctor’s office.  No more wondering if symptoms justify trying to scrape up the cash for gas to get to the doctor…I can listen to my instincts a lot better when finances aren’t tangled in there.  Yesterday we were able to get a big bag of oranges and not worry about it…all three of us have been blissed out on oranges for the last few days. lol.  Healthy and fun.  Simple pleasures are the best, I tell ya.

Zane is going to have some adjusting to do when life gets back to ‘normal’, what ever that will be.  One thing it will be is a lot less time on the computer and video games.  Granted, most of them are educational, but I don’t want it to dominate his day the way it does right now.  At least he isn’t a couch potato when he is doing those things…I hardly ever see him actually sit still while playing, even on the electronic stuff.  I am shocked at how much he knows though.  Yesterday he was playing some online game with Dora and was playing it in Spanish instead of English, and getting it.  People are going to think he comes from a bilingual household.  lol.  He also knows where the “radio” is on the Noggin site.  He will find that, turn it on, and then stand in the middle of the room dancing to the music, sometimes for well over an hour.  Oobi also has a little dance routine that he gets a kick out of….it instructs you to shake, dance like a snake, and jump, and twist, and go forward and back (there might be some more too).  He plays it over and over and dances until he is giggling so hard he has a hard time standing and is out of breath.  It is such a joy to watch.

He does still spend a significant amount of time with his little people, trains, cars, blocks, books & coloring/activity books, so it isn’t all electronic stuff, just more than I would like.  He has learned that mama can’t get up very well though and I now have stacks of books and art supplies around my chair where he brings me things to read and do with him.  Very sweet. 

Ok, I am having issues with Ford.  I come from a “Ford” family.  Right now their ads are really getting on my last nerve.  They decided to use the Peanuts (Charlie Brown Peanuts) theme for their ads.  Every. Single. Time. the ad comes on, my son comes running into the room thinking Cha-we Bwown is on, often with his Charlie Brown doll in tow.  It was very cute the first few days, but getting very old now.  Most of the time he just gets a look of disappointment that it is just the cars, but every once in a while he will start crying. 

They really need to find a different theme song!

Five simple pleasures in no particular order

1.  Fresh ripe fruit

2.  Chocolate

3.  Warm clothes fresh from the dryer on a cold day

4.  A child snuggled in the crook of your arm as you read to them

5.  Gentle kisses, prolonged hugs, holding hands, and unexpected back, shoulder, or foot massages. 

My folks, and most likely our immediate family, are going to delay Christmas until after the New Year this year.  Between this unpredictable pregnancy and the load on my SIL, brother and mom from their shop, everybody would spend the day tired and stressed.  We all would enjoy it a lot more in January.  Plus, that way nobody is doing frantic re-arranging if I go into labor or suddenly end up in the hospital over the actual holiday.  It isn’t the first year, or the first generation that has done that in my family.  My mom’s sister and BIL ran a sporting shoe business and lived out of state, and her brother worked for the airlines, also out of state.  Both are not conducive to a Dec 25 celebration.  From the late 80s until I had Zane, I never had a Christmas/Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve/Day off work because “I didn’t have a family”    So, the ‘actual’ day is not all that sacred to us around here…the season is, but not the specific day.  Having it later has been a common way of making it more enjoyable for the family as a whole and seems to be a good solution for us this year under the circumstances.  It was kind of a relief to decide that.  I didn’t even have to suggest it, so it is especially nice not to feel like like I am screwing up the holiday because of my pregnancy. 

If we wait until January there is more chance I will actually be able to shop for Zane too.  Now he only has one Christmas gift. 

We aren’t going to move Zane’s birthday celebration, even if we end up celebrating it in the hospital.  We just need to remember to pack the gift in our suitcase and mom said she would pick up some cupcakes and balloons at Dillons to celebrate.  I am guessing the nurses won’t mind us leaving them some cupcakes at the nurse’s station.  It will help demonstrate to Zane that he is just as important, even with a new baby.  Plus, a kid’s birthday should be celebrated on the day.  Even if he isn’t aware of the date, when he looks back and realizes his sister’s birthday is the day before (if it is) and he didn’t celebrate his for a while, he is going to know we moved it.  I don’t want that to happen.

We did end up making a trip to the Dr office today.  I haven’t had as much fetal movement and they ran a NST (Non Stress Test….I just lie there and have monitors hooked up like when you are in labor).  The baby wasn’t moving around a lot, but had good accelerations and heartbeat and such, so all is well.  The first time they tried to take my blood pressure it was pretty bad, but for a reason.  The end of the table slipped out farther and she was trying to get it pushed back in while I held my legs in the air out of the way for her.  Plus, we were talking back and forth when it happened.  When my BP came back 160/95 we both agreed we should probably take it again.  lol.  It was 139/88, or something like that….not great, but not horrible either, especially considering it was right after the ‘excitement’. 

I did sort of have to laugh at myself though when I realized that the reason I was going in was because, essentially, I wasn’t uncomfortable enough (wasn’t getting kicked in the ribs or the bladder/cervix) and I didn’t wake up to pee in the middle of the night.  Those are not things a 34 week pregnant person usually would ‘complain’ about.  He was totally supportive of me coming in and said not to hesitate to call over the weekend if I got concerned again or had any questions.  He did tell me I needed to up my intake of water.  I am wondering if turning the heater on is just drying me out a lot faster than normal.

Zane’s Day

Mom & Dad came to town to pick Zane up and ‘give us a break’.  Well, we ended up going to the dr. during most of the break, but that was less stressful than it would have been had they not been there, so it was good. 

Zane went with them to pick up some parts, which included walking around looking at the big tractors, graders, and construction equipment (they went to the caterpillar dealer…my dad does road maintenance for the township so I assume that is what the part was for).  They also got to watch a train go by (rolling down the windows so he could hear it too), which thrilled Zane.  Then to Wal-mart, then Arby’s for supper, and then Sams for shopping.  When they came back here, we were home.  Zane showed grandpa how to play a game on the Nintendo 64 while Mom & we talked. 

Now, we need to go through the bins of Zane’s old clothes and put the infant car seat out in our car.  No more adults sitting in the back seat from now on.

Somebody (and you know who you are) made my day today!  Who am I kidding, you made my week…month.  WOW!  I got the greatest package in the mail.  I was sent a baby gift…a box from Hannah Anderson with 2 pairs of wiggle pants, a short sleeve onesie snap tee, a long sleeve onesie Jeeper Creeper, a cable cardigan, and a receiving blanket.  They are all organic cotton, coordinate each other, and are so soft, well made, and with the CUTEST print of little teddy bears.  I can not believe it.  I totally bawled when I opened it.  I am so overwhelmed and happy!   I called mom to tell her and she started crying too. lol.  She also sent a very generous gift certificate so I can get some more pieces…I get to pick some things out myself!  I think I am going to save it a bit to stretch out the joy.  I can not describe how full my heart is.  My baby will have some new things to wear. 

The thing that made me the happiest was the sweater.  Last night as I was trying to go to sleep I decided I had to knit something for the baby so she could have *something* pretty to wear home and I couldn’t afford to buy anything and everything for the baby was hand-me down.  (I am very happy with hand-me-downs, don’t get me wrong, but I really wanted her to have something that was meant for her alone)  I spent much of the day trying to psych myself up for knitting something even though I knew it was going to make my hands hurt like crazy.  That sweater is the absolute duplicate of what I wanted to knit.  It could not have been closer.  It is PERFECT.  I cried in relief and joy that I have something really special to bring her home in.  What an incredible gift. 

Enjoy the cuteness with me!

I just got a call from my Dr.  Evidently, the one test they didn’t have the results for I failed.  “normal” is protein under 300.  I am at 634 or so.  I didn’t fail miserably, but am considered to have Preeclampsia.  At this point it isn’t considered severe, but it means I will be delivering before the end of the year.  He is going to try and set it for the 26th instead of the 27th so my kids don’t have the same birthday, but he isn’t sure if that is possible yet.  He won’t know until later this week because he has to coordinate it with some other people and the surgical suite, but he said he would try to keep it on another day.

My appointments are going to be weekly from now on, might even be closer if I start showing other symptoms.  At this point, the goal is to hold off until that day.

I am sort of glad Zach left already for his tests tonight before I got the call.  This is not what he needs this week.  It will be better by the time he gets home tonight though because he will have 2 tests over with.

I do have to say that I am liking this Dr. a lot more as the pregnancy continues.  I had to sort of make myself trust him earlier on, knowing that I could go to his partner if I was having issues, but he is much more how I like a Dr. to be now.  He makes me feel like a partner in this and gives me a lot more information than he did early on.  I know that some people don’t like knowing all the details, but not knowing what is going on makes me crazy, so this is working much better for me. 

That was so much NOT what I wanted to hear, but at least I know what is going on. 

One funny note:  At the end of the conversation I asked if I should call back to his receptionist to move my appointment or if he knew how to transfer the call.  He sort of chuckled and asked if I would mind calling back because he had no idea how to transfer the call.  lol. 

  Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  It is cold outside today.  We finally got some snow though!  It is still snowing, so we have yet to see if it will be enough to play in.   It is days like this I wish we weren’t on the north end of the building though.

We had a rough start to the morning today.  Zane woke up, after 12 hours of sleep, and I couldn’t get him to do anything other than lay around.  I kept adding clothes and blankets to him because he seemed cold and I thought he might just be laying around because of that.  About 2 hours after he woke up, he suddenly jumped up and threw up everywhere.  Zach had just gotten up at that point, but took Zane to the bathroom to clean him up and get him into some new clothes while I cleaned up the mess.  After that, Zane seemed fine.  Zach thinks it is the ham that he and Zane ate since he had a really bad stomach ache last night after eating also.  I didn’t eat the ham.  Boy am I happy I didn’t! 

It has been about 4 hours and Zane is still appearing to be himself again, so I am speculating that was the end instead of the beginning of feeling yucky.  It does explain why he went to sleep so much earlier last night than usual and slept for so long.  I followed him to bed because I expected him to wake up at 6-8am at the latest and I didn’t want to face that alone without some sleep.  It was entirely too early for Zach to go to bed if he wanted to be alert for his tests tonight, so it was a strange night and morning.  I can’t remember the last time we went to sleep at different times and I am almost never awake before him.

Other Zane notes:

Zane has really been fascinated with his coloring/activity books the last week or so.  He completed all his mazes in his little maze book (beginner mazes) and done almost every activity in his VeggieTales coloring book that he is capable of.  (no word finds or crossword puzzles, obviously).  We even did one of those ‘code word’ things (easy version of a crypt-o-gram you find in newspapers).  He couldn’t read the results, and I went ahead and wrote the letters for him this time around, but it was so cute to hear him say “5 ekes (equals) E” and pointing to where I should write the “e” on the line, then going to the next letter to decode it.  If we hadn’t done all of them in the book, I would have him write the letters next time. 

The only thing that is driving me crazy is that book has a bunch of those ‘grid pictures’ – there is a small picture in a 4×4 grid, and then a large 4×4 grid you are supposed to reproduce the picture on to.  The picture is too complicated for him to do it, but he insists on me drawing it for him.  If I don’t do it right away, he starts explaining to me how to do it (“draw nose this piece” (square) )  Unless he discovers that he has TWO copies of that particular coloring book, I think I have drawn the last picture in the book as of an hour ago.  Whew.  Of course, he will probably go back to bringing me his “Harold and the Purple Crayon”, an actual purple crayon, and a notebook to draw some of the pictures from that for him.  *sigh*  I am working to get HIM to do it, but have not yet found success in that.  When Zach isn’t busy with work, he also gets him to color pictures for him, directing which pencils/crayons he should use for each little area.  We are able to get him to color things himself, but sometimes he wants to just watch us.

*edited to add* 

He did end up trying to get me to draw Harold and the Purple crayon again.    Daddy intercepted and drew for him instead.  (thank you Zach)

Another astonising and powerful entry by Juliepersons you have to read.  This woman has an amazing insight and expressiveness:  On my Father, and Lightening

Pamalamama’s Eli turned 3 and had his first hair cut.  Such a little man now.  What a difference!  Happy birthday Eli!

Happy to see this article:  Chocoholics have happy babies

See Zach, the nearly daily request of ‘could you pick up some chocolate for me’ could work to your advantage. 

Very good news to report.  First, notice I am NOT in the hospital after my test results today.   

Second, the numbers look ok right now.  They didn’t have my protein counts in, but the blood work and whatever else they were testing for was not horrible.  I am still on bedrest and I still need to monitor my blood pressure, but for right now, I am still at home and not on meds.  WooHoo!

I had some nervous moments today though.  They were ‘fitting me in’ and the Dr. ended up being in emergency surgery so I had to wait a bit.  Luckily, my dad came to watch Zane in the waiting room (in theory so that Zach could hear what was going on without having to wrangle Zane at the same time) so when the appointment was delayed, Zach had to leave.  He had to do a presentation on a project worth 40% of his grade in one class and then teach another class…canceling was not an option.  I was a bit nervous because they wouldn’t tell me anything or give me any hint of whether it was good news or bad and kept telling me that the Dr. wanted to speak with me personally.  I guess he wanted to be the bearer of some decent news for once.  lol. 

After the appointment, my Dad took Zane and me to Arby’s to grab some lunch.  It was sort of cool having lunch with my just my dad…that hasn’t happened in a really long time.  It was sweet.  Zach called while we were there to find out where to leave me some house keys because he realized that I was without a set of keys.  I was glad he called because I was able to tell him that everything was ok before he had to walk into his presentation.  I was hating that he had to leave not knowing if he would be coming back to see me in the hospital later in the evening.

The Dr. isn’t ready to move my c-section back quite yet (I want it very close to the due date) until we get closer.  There really isn’t any point to fiddling with it right now because it could change at any time and would just create more confusion if there is a change.  So, I am still slated for an early January delivery, but if all goes well, I might be able to move it towards the middle of January again.  

I especially hope to get past next Tuesday.  Tuesday is Zach’s last day of school for the semester and his schedule is utterly insane and very, very high pressure until then.  If we can get past that date at least it would be SO much easier on both our immediate and extended families (who are our support system & will be helping with Zane).   My mom works at my SIL’s shop and one of the full time people quit and my SIL was sent on a business trip for her other job this week, so my Mom is beyond busy this week. (and my SIL is out of town and brother is busy trying to help at the shop too)  One more week and all of my support people are in a better position.  What I really want is to make it until the middle of January, but one step at a time at this point.