Taking the Scenic Route

Thursday June 30, 2005

30th June 2005

Thursday June 30, 2005

Hi folks.  I am not entirely sure what to do with the blog.  I enjoy sharing pictures and I know I have a lot of family that uses this to keep up with us.  At this point, it will take some time to get everything back because every post involved was moved to private. 

I am really struggling with what I consider the most important…the joy that the pictures bring to people I care about, or that .0000001% who see something in the pictures that makes my skin crawl and protecting my son and ourselves from that element. Aaarg.  Tired pregnant brain is not helping.  I guess I will just give it a few days to think some more.

Zach has already started building a blog that I was going to switch to around the end of summer, so we might move the date up on that, or we might put a watermark on all our pictures, or we might go protected, or just set it up like it was and say ’screw it’, I can’t control what people think and I didn’t do anything I need to hide from. 

Maybe sometime soon we will be able to make a decision.  I just get sad thinking about it.

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29th June 2005

Wednesday June 29, 2005

I took off all my posts with pictures.  I will explain later, too tired now and need to get to bed.

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28th June 2005

Tuesday June 28, 2005

Just a few pictures

first, Zane’s ablility to fall asleep mid-playing (that is a “little people” in his hand)


oh….did I mention Grandma bought him markers yesterday?  (at least he didn’t eat them this time)

yes, I was able to get most of it off.  lol


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27th June 2005

Monday June 27, 2005

I just wanted to thank you all for your comments.  It is nice to get support from friends.  Those of you that know Zane and reassured me with your comments….a BIG thank you.  It is a blessing to have so many people supporting us.

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27th June 2005

Monday June 27, 2005

Great Day Today!

We finally saw Star Wars today!  We have free passes that Zach won from work 6 months ago, but we had to wait until we could use them on the movie.  (it was ‘no free passes’ for quite a while).   It was SO GOOD!  Zach and I are thinking about breaking out the Star Wars IV-VI to watch tonight.  lol.  Of course, we have to get Zane interested in something to do that because it is too much for him.  I guess we will see. 

Mom got him a set of washable markers from Sams…it had 4 different boxes of markers in it and she got him three coloring books. Ever since mom left, he has been at his table coloring.  It is cute.  He is really liking the markers.  Mom said that he played really great for the first bit, but then she made a short trip to the bathroom, in in those 2-3 minutes, he fell asleep.  lol.  She couldn’t get him to wake up.  Zach & I both laughed…if he is ready to sleep, there is no stopping him, and if he doesn’t want to wake up, he simply won’t and NOTHING will wake him up.  

*sigh*  There is nothing that quite equals the sound of the Star Wars music as the movie opens.  Sends chills up my spine.

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24th June 2005

Friday June 24, 2005

My Very Long Roller Coaster Day (Yesterday)

Ped’s appointment from hell

I am SO changing back to my old Pediatrician!

I was really excited because I got into a pediatrician that I wanted before I even had kids.  I knew him because I was a church camp counselor with him for a few summers and he was an alumni from my college.  As anybody who has been within talking distance of me the since about 3:15 yesterday knows, I was completely unimpressed and actually pretty pissed by the time I left his office.

First thing when we stepped into his office it was like Toys-R-Us exploded…there were little stuffed animals hanging from the ceiling a large felt board with a bucket of well over 100 felt shapes & animals, books…more stuff to do than the waiting room outside!  Zach & I both groaned because with all of that neat stuff, we knew that it was going to hard to get Zane away from it to interact in the appointment.

The overall problem was that he seemed very passive-aggressive and downright hostile to Zane.  He didn’t seem to have even a modicum of respect for me or dh and treated us like he was lying to him & uneducated the whole time. 

Here is my list of complaints:

  • Could not remember Zane’s name.  Kept calling him Xander, and when he wouldn’t respond to the name immediately, said it sharper.  I would then repeat the request (without the irritated tone in my voice that he had) using Zane’s ACTUAL name.  Jon would then act all irritated that I was ‘interfering’ or something when Zane would respond to my requests.  (well duh, he didn’t realize Jon was speaking to him the first two times…why would he respond)
  • When going through the ’skills’ list he was asking about various things and  I had to sit and think for half a beat as to whether or not he uses certain verbal things (pronouns, prepositions, other terms I don’t use in everyday life).  I told him that he has only been speaking since he turned 3, so I had to think about some of the questions just a bit to try an remember.  (btw, yes, he does use those things, but the technical terms for sentence diagramming is not something I think about as I listen to him).  He then immediately said that he would highly recommend me having him evaluated for autism since he wasn’t talking (although he was talkative in the waiting room and the office, as soon as Jon walked in, he clammed up and didn’t say a word the entire time) and he didn’t make ‘good eye contact’ with him.  (I had to concentrate to make eye contact with him…he was the only thing not moving in a very visually busy environment…add toys to that and a kid like Zane doesn’t have a prayer).  He informed me that if he interacted the same way at his 4 year appointment, he would demand he be tested.  (demand?!?  really.  boy, you really have some people skills there, don’t ya doc)  He has seen him all of 5 minutes and he is going to demand that he be tested for autism?!?  Being an introvert is not a genetic defect!  My dad had a hard time making eye contact and talking on the phone even into my teens…he is about as far from autistic as you can get!  He also made really snide little noises when I tried to explain what he is like in normal life, clearly not believing us.  At one point, he said sarcastically “oh, just like Einstein, huh?”
  • When going through family history part, he asked about ‘macular degeneration or cataracts’ and I said my dad has both.  According to him, you can’t have both.  What I should have said was “oh, well I will have to tell my Dad and all the specialists he has gone to over the years that he is wasting his money”, but instead I explained Dad had cataracts in his early 20s and MD now.  He looked at me like he didn’t believe me.  (a look I became very familiar with by the end of the appointment)
  • His question:  “what kind of milk does he drink”.  I responded: Soy, rice, and some human.  He said “I mean does he drink whole milk, 2%, skim…ect”  I said, no he doesn’t drink cow’s milk straight.  He does get cheese and yogurt, but doesn’t drink straight milk.  My previous dr’s question was “how does he get calcium”, which is a much better question since that is probably actually what he was wanting to know.  I guess Jon doesn’t realize that dairy, contrary to marketing, is actually one of the suckier sources of calcium.  I think the term “human (milk)” just went over his head, but I wasn’t going to clarify it unless he asked since I was starting to get a really bad feeling about this interaction.
  • Circumcision…you guys are gonna love this.  Since I am pregnant and he practices at the hospital I am delivering at (which is a major reason I was planning on changing to him as a physician) I asked how he felt about circumcision.  (great way to gauge his views and see how up to date he is, even if you don’t know what the sex is yet).  He said he strongly preferred to circumcise because (get this).. it is more hygienic, less prone to infection and easier.  He was ‘gracious’ and said he would ‘allow’  (ALLOW!  he used the word “allow” in this context) a newborn to be uncircumcised, but since they usually got infected and needed a circumcision anyway, he would really try to encourage me to have it done right away, but it wasn’t one of his ’soapbox issues’.  I would bet good money that the reason he sees so many ‘problems’ with intact boys is that he probably recommends people prematurely retract the foreskin to ‘clean it properly’, therefore damaging it and leaving it prone to infection.  Oh, the things I could have said had I not been in such shock.  (go to Feebee’s site for more info on circumcision…she is much more educated on the subject).
  • I asked briefly if he would be ok with delaying vaxes on my newborn….didn’t even hint at selective vaxes yet  (although at this point I was pretty sure of the answer and pretty sure we wouldn’t be seeing him…this was my last ditch effort to see if I was comfortable having him just at the hospital and then transferring his care back to Dr. F after we left the hospital)  He said that he used vaxes that were the least reactive, even though the profit margin is lower for him.  If I really insisted on separating them out (individual shots instead of the combo ones that are now so popular), let him know so he could order them and have them ready when he was born.  Uh, no.  I am pretty sure my one day old won’t be having sex or using street drugs before he leaves the hospital (hep B shot they give newborns), so I think giving them that vax is pretty stupid.   I got the clear impression that he wasn’t going to be accepting of me even delaying it even a week (something I had to fight tooth and nail for when Zane was born), much less delaying it until they are preschool age.  As we were leaving he reminded us, again, that he needed the vax records.  Yeah, we heard you the first 5 times you asked…we aren’t deaf.  (He also kept ‘reminding us’ that we needed to make sure and read to him every day…dude, didn’t I say he was beginning to read?…wouldn’t one assume that we are reading to him if he is beginning to read?…oh, that’s right, we must be lying)  We also aren’t letting you within shouting distance of our son again if there is any justice in the world.

My first “official” OB appointment

Just down the hall from Ped’s office is my OB/GYN office.  The second we left the doorway of the ped’s office, Zach declared that we will never be returning there again.  I agreed, but we didn’t really have time to vent, so both of us felt a little off kilter walking into the office.  Even though I was early, they still got me in right away.  I was surprised.

Mom wasn’t there yet (since it was early), so Zach had to stay out in the waiting room for the first part of the appointment.  With my brain buzzing from the Ped’s appointment, I had to try and recall my entire medical history. lol.  A part of my brain was thinking “why do I have to do this…my medical history is sitting in that 2-inch thick folder you are writing on”  I was having a horrible time remembering the dates of all my miscarriages…I am terrible with dates…I was having problems remember the YEARS they took place. lol.  I kept saying “it is in there someplace” lol.  It took forever to go through all that stuff.  At some point after peeing in a cup and before my pap, Zach came back to join me and was able to help me with some of the dates of my surgeries and such. 

One of the funny moments was the typical problem I have…taking my blood pressure.  The automated cuff  kept retrying and squeezing the crap out of my arm because it had problems getting a reading.  Again, I got the comment on how low my blood pressure was (113/70) even though that is a bit higher than normal for me (it is often lower than 110/60 or there-abouts).  Pretty good considering how tense I was after dealing with the Ped’s appointment.  (In the past, I have had people think the cuff was broken because ‘there is no way somebody your weight can have that low of blood pressure’)

After the lovely pap, the nurse practitioner got the doppler to listen to the heartbeat.  She couldn’t find it.  My heart dropped.  She was pressing so hard to try and get it that I could feel my skin around my c-section scar starting to tear just a bit (like when they did the sono a few weeks ago).  She quietly said she would get the dr.  We stood there in silence as I got dressed and waited for Dr. Br..  It took a while, but we found out later he had gone to Dr B, my Gyn since I was about 12 or 13 (about 23 years ago), since he knew me better to see if we should just wait or go ahead and do a sono.  Dr. B said not to make me wait with my history.  (which is a good thing, since I was doing everything in my power not to completely fall apart while waiting).  So, he came in and confirmed that we had seen a heartbeat at the sono 3 weeks ago and asked if how I had been feeling.  (wanting to see if I had a loss of symptoms or not…from experience, I know that sudden energy bursts and loss of nausea and other pregnancy symptoms at this stage usually is the result of fetal death).  Then asked if the sono had been vaginal or abdominal.  I told him abdominal, but I had been really surprised they got a reading that way and that it was really uncomfortable.  He asked if a trans-vaginal was ok and I quickly told him I preferred it because it wouldn’t hurt nearly as much.

So, we went down to the sono room.  He said he didn’t have it set up yet, but go ahead and get undressed (waist down) and he would be right back.  When he came back in, I was on the bed and he sort of sheepishly said “I guess I should have started by introducing myself, reaching out his hand to shake mine and said “hi, I am Dr. Br.”. lol. He said he generally liked to get to know people a bit better before having to stick something into them. lol. (this was totally said in an appropriate, funny way…not gross at all)  I told him that I knew who he was because I had seen him in from across the office for years, but was hoping the first 3 minutes of meeting him would be a little happier.  (he does the OB side of the practice…so seeing him means I am pregnant, and for me, means there isn’t an immediatly apparent problem when I walk in the door.  I have been to the point of an OB appointment time-wise, but since I wass spotting, Dr. B went ahead and saw me so I wasn’t dealing with somebody new in a crisis situation)

As he sits down in front of the sono machine, he states ‘typing is not my best thing’  Oh boy, was he not kidding.  lol.  I think Zane can hunt and peck faster than he can.  After watching him type out J…….e…..n..n……………i………………….f…….e………………………r and then go SLOWER on my last name (because he had to look at every letter on my chart to get the spelling) I leaned forward to see the fields so he at least didn’t have to look back and forth….remember to say things like 0….4…(instead of just “4″)….1…..1….2….0….0….5 for LMP until he got to the point that it would let him do the scan without having to fill in any more fields.  (at which point he breathed a big sigh of relief.  lol)

He also offered to let me put in the wand, which I actually was having a difficult time doing and stated, while chuckling, “maybe I should have Zach help…I don’t do this very often”.  (at which point I think I made him blush).  Got it in, and the sac was right there, and within moments we could see a little fetus jumping around like crazy.  (probably not very happy after the doppler and then the sono).  I cried in relief.  He said “well, we know it’s alive, we just need it to slow down so we can see the heart now”.  He grabbed his cell phone and asked if it was ok to have Dr. B come in to see it, saying that they had both had very bad days and he thought he could really use seeing something so great.  Dr. B came in and his face when he saw the baby was just priceless.  He was so happy he looked like he was going to cry too.  He said that it had really made his day, and I told him I was so glad that I could finally be the one to make his day brighter since he has had to give me bad news after bad news over the years.” 

Then the little measuring thingy popped up and they both commented, wondering if the dates were correct because that doesn’t usually pop up this early in the pregnancy (usually not until another week or two).  Dr. Br. said it was actually letting him measure the head and it seemed a little big for date.  At that point, I teased Dr. B that ‘wasn’t he the one that told us we had big heads?’  resulting in a big ole belly laugh from him.  He measured the heart rate and printed out some pictures for us.

So, as my final part of this very long post, here are some pictures of my babe.  It is 3.6cm long, heart is 3mm, with arm (and hand) and leg (and feet) buds apparent (head down):

and a close up from that second picture


I am now off the progesterone, since the levels are now determined by the placenta instead of an ovarian function, and the amount I am taking is just a drop in the bucket compared to the amount the placenta is putting out.  (I am guessing that shift happened sometime last week, the last few days I noticed that the pills didn’t change how I felt like they had in the beginning)

On one last note…when I went to wait for my blood draw, after the sono, I saw a bit of panic in the eyes of the lab tech.  lol.  It is only the 3rd time she has had me, but I am such a pain to hit that she remembered me.  I ended up having to be stuck for almost every tube because my vein kept drying up/sneaking away as the blood was drawn.  *sigh*  I hate having my blood drawn.  I knew it wasn’t going to go well because my mouth was dry….it is hard enough when I am well hydrated, if I am thirsty it is usually terrible.


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16th June 2005

Thursday June 16, 2005

Wish List for Zane

Hello Baby!  by Lizzy Rockwell

You Can Go to the Potty (Sears Children Library)

What Baby Needs (Sears Children Library)


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14th June 2005

Tuesday June 14, 2005

Zane’s world

Zane has been making a lot of developmental leaps lately, and I figured I better write it down before I forget.

  • First, his verbal skills have really taken off.  He is talking a lot now days.  He seems to do the most talking when we read together and he now insists on following each word with his finger as we read, sometimes going over a particular word a few times so he can keep hearing it, and then repeating it.  It almost seems like learning to read has finally given him a good reason to talk.
  • His sense of humor is in full force.  For instance:  In his animal book (listed in the ‘what we are reading” thingy) he will point to a cow, something we know he knows very well, and announce that it is an ‘elephant’, then say “no, no, noooo” followed by a hearty giggle session, sometimes falling over in his laughing.  Then he will point and say ‘cow’ and shout “YES!”, while throwing up his hands, followed by clapping. It can take a loooonnnnggg time to get through that book some nights, but it is just so charming and fun to see him enjoying himself so much.
  • He writes his name.  A good 90% of the time he gets it perfect, but once in a while he will write the “N” backwards.  His name still sounds like “Zam” half the time, but is getting nearer to being understood well.
  • He is learning to use scissors.  He hasn’t really got it yet, but is improving.  Last night, when we said ‘time for bed’, instead of getting a book and snuggling into bed waiting for us, he grabbed a pair of scissors and a piece of paper.  lol. 
  • He is able to string beads now. 
  • His pitch is improving to where we are often able to understand what song he is singing without having to work so hard. 
  • Drinks easily from a normal cup and gets rather irritated if you try to give him a sippy at home.  (still ok with it when we are out and about, but come to think of it, we haven’t been in the car since my last OB appointment, so that might not be true anymore)
  • When he gets his hands dirty playing outside, he will run inside, clamor up on the toilet so he can reach the bathroom sink, turn it on, and wash his hands using soap. When he is done, he carefully dries them on the towel.  So cute.  He will also wash his feet off this way, which means a trail of mud and mud all over my toilet cover sometimes, but he is getting better about getting most of the mud off of his hands and feet by wiping it in the grass before tracking through the apartment.  It is something to see him washing his feet in the sink though because he is basically doing the splits with one foot on the toilet and one under the faucet.  That is one flexible little kid!
  • Today when I was laying on the couch, he ran back to his room, grabbed his blanket, brought it to me and covered me up. 
  • Going to sleep on his own now.  We never pushed this so it was a relief to see it happen naturally.  I knew it should, but with all the mainstream advice that you ‘must sleep train your child’ it makes you doubt yourself sometimes.  He is proving all that advice absolutely wrong.  Bedtime is a really nice time in our house and it makes all the nights of waiting for him to get tired before trying to go to bed so there weren’t any battle of wills so worth it. Now he is on a more predictable schedule and goes to bed happily.  He lays down, pulls the cover over his head, and drifts off to sleep.  It is so cool.  Two nights ago he tried to get to sleep in his own bed without any prompting.  After a while, he went back to the family bed and went to sleep there instead, but it was neat to see him starting to initiate it.  It is a process.
  • Dresses himself.  He is much better at getting things on the right direction now, and is working on getting socks and shoes on by himself.
  • This he has been doing for quite a while, but I thought I would throw it in because it is really helpful now that I am not able to get up and down as much.  He gets his own snacks out of the fridge.  If it is yogurt, he will take the lid off, put it on the table or in the trash can, get his own spoon, and be on his way.  If it is fruit, he brings it to us to wash first.  He is also finally putting banana peels in the trash without prompting. 
  • He puts his own discs in the computer and starts up games without assistance.  He is really good at matching games, pattern games, and appears to understand some adding and subtracting. 

Well, that is all I can think of right now.  This is such a fun age!  I am really enjoying him right now and love seeing him gain new skills and enjoying himself.

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8th June 2005

Wednesday June 8, 2005

Grandma to the Rescue!

Mom came today.  She brought entertainment for Zane and kept him busy all day having a lot of fun.  She also did a lot of dishes and laundry and cleaned for me.  My house is so much better now.  What an angel!

The galvanized tubs she brought from were originally from each of my Grandparent’s farms.  I thought that was pretty neat.

(no, he is not naked.  I just happened to choose pictures where it is hard to tell)


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8th June 2005

Wednesday June 8, 2005

I copied and pasted this.  I didn’t have the energy to explain it all myself, but I wanted people to know what has been on my mind (and filling my email box.  lol)

The View causes huge stink about breastfeeding

CBB Reader Shannon emailed me the following regarding a large protest outside of the ABC Studios in NYC on Monday:

Breastfeeding moms protested several things, including Elisabeth announcing her baby is now drinking formula (which brought applause) and Barbara Walters recent comment about being uncomfortable with a woman breastfeeding openly next to her on a plane. Also, misinformation about breastfeeding has been spread on the view; Star has said she would never breastfeed and that it is “gross.” Barbara said “formula is just as good as breastmilk these days” and there have been comments made about extended nursing. When actress Vanessa Williams said she breastfed her son for 2 years, Star was shocked and said “TWO YEARS? That’s old enough for a happy meal” not to mention she has said “don’t they make Similac?” every time breastfeeding is mentioned.

Here are related links:

another important link that has a lot of links as the time has passed and pictures of the protests. 



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  • Zane's age

  • Zane is 22 years, 5 months, and 2 days old
  • Zora's age

  • Zora is 18 years, 5 months, and 6 days old
  • Random Quote

  • Homeschool parent’s primer:

    Anyone who is more attentive to their child than I am is a “hover mother”.

    Anyone who is less attentive is selfish and neglectful.

    Anyone who imposes more rules on kids than we do is rigid and power tripping.

    Anyone who imposes less is spoiling the kids and being a doormat.

    Any homeschoolers who use more structure and curriculum than we do are control freaks.

    Any who use less are irresponsible.

    Any kid older than mine is “old enough to know better”.

    Until mine is that age, then “he’s just too little to know better”.
    — Kelly, from SM, a message board

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