Taking the Scenic Route

 

Bearsmama, thank you so much for posting this. When I read your original OP I literally cried because you were able to put in words the extreme frustration I was having with my 3yo. I am totally overwhelmed with the insanity. My dh and I had even been discussing the possiblitiy of beginning to spank, even though neither of us wants to, because it didn’t feel like anything was working. Everyone IRL was suggesting spanking as a solution.

Our situation is a bit complicated by a minimally verbal 3yo, so there are times I wonder if he really even understands what we want and I know we don’t always understand what he wants.

Knowing that much of his behavior is reasonably normal for his age gives me hope that I will eventually see results from gentle parenting. The main thing I need to do is not let my feelings escalate. I was getting so angry and frustrated with him I was scared of what I would do. Just knowing that the extreme testing of limits is typical helps a lot.

Oh, and the suggestion to have everything ready before baking…I had to kind of giggle at that from some of my experiences. When I did that, the result was not a smooth transition from one ingredient to another, it was him grabbing every ingredient and dumping it into the bowl in a frenzy. In under 1 minute he had flour, baking powder, salt, oil, water, eggs (and their shells) and other stuff all in the bowl, over the counter, on the floor, in his hair….you get the picture. I would rather have the meltdowns in between ingredients than that experience again.

If you want to get a commiseration laugh, read my blog for the days after I followed through on taking away his toys. Some of the other things I didn’t mention were: dumping all the spaghetti noodles on the floor (and then making alphabet letters out of the sticks of spaghetti), flinging laundry, ‘making eggs’ all by himself (raw cracked eggs on my kitchen floor), taking pictures off the wall, wrapping yarn around his hand so tight it was turning his hand red and having to cut it off his hand only to have him repeat the behavior…and the meltdown when I took away the yarn, asking for water…drinking a few sips…dumping the rest on the floor and trying to play in the puddle, locking the bathroom door while he played in the sink, ‘painting’ with the yogurt he was supposed to be eating…and on and on. He also went through his entire wardrobe of clothes, twice. It was an insane week. While I was cleaning up one mess, he was making another.

When you read my blog post, you will know why I was so releived to find your post.