Taking the Scenic Route

I had a lot of   momments today.  I watched Robert & Dori’s two youngest, Cody (about 18 months older than Zane) and Eilysh (about 4 months old) while they went to their oldest’s school for a meeting.  (another post for another time, but their experience with the public school system here REALLY makes me want to either home school or find a good private school),  Cody and Zane played fairly nicely with each other, mostly with the trains.  Dori was understandably nervous about leaving Eilysh…she has never left her with anybody.  I felt really honored. 

Zane’s reaction to Eilysh was amazing and adorable.  He seemed to become a ‘big kid’ right before my eyes.  He came over and just smiled ear to ear at her, with a really sweet look in his eyes, and reached out and gently touched her.  He would gently rub her ear, looking up at me talking about her ear, then her nose, and took her hands and gently held them.  He would go play, constantly turning to see the baby.  He came back several times just to smile at her and admire her, one time very carefully leaning in and kissing her.  He brought her teething ring to her and was just amazing.  My heart just melted.

Later, after I got her to sleep (involving some crying and me really being glad she didn’t weigh much because my arms were burning trying to rock her to sleep….she has never gone to sleep without nursing or in her swing)  I laid her on the floor, on her blanket in the living room.  He came in from the bedroom, saw her on the floor, carefully sat beside her and worked to maneuver himself under the cover to lay down with her.  At that point, I finally didn’t have the baby in my arms so I could snap a photo of the sweetness.  (really understanding now why there are not nearly as many photos of the second child…lol…no free hands)

As a side note, the crocheted blanket (blue and pink) is one that was made for my mom by her Grandma for her children.  I slept in that blankie as a child and used it a lot for Zane when he was a baby.

I have been stuffing all those feelings of how much I want another child for a while, but holding that precious child in my arms today, and especially seeing Zane’s reaction, made me really long for another child.  Badly.  Logic officially lost it’s battle today…not that I have a lot of control, I just have tried really hard not to think about it too much since nothing was happening.