Wednesday September 15, 2004
We just got back from the Music and Motion class at the Y. Not enough motion in the curriculum. lol. Should be called Music and Sitting. Despite that, it was more successful than the Tumble Tots for two reasons. First, smaller room. Second, the room wasn’t full of Stepford children and moms. Most of the kids sat in the circle, but there was another boy who was just as active as Zane. The other mom apologized to me for instigating the swinging the blinds around, and I laughed and said “don’t worry about it, mine showed yours how to remove the ballet barre from the wall”. lol. The other boy was probably about the same age, but half Zane’s size (and Zane towered over the rest of the class again). She asked how old Zane was and her eyes about popped out of her skull, but then said that her other two were also in the 95% and this one is way on the other extreme and she has no idea where it came from because her husband and her were both fairly tall. There was another boy who joined them at times running around the circle and one little girl who was quite a bit younger but looked to have a similar energy level. It was nice to not be the only parent with a child who doesn’t sit. Maybe the difference is that this class is under the “Creativity” program and the other was under the “Gymnastics” program. People here seemed somewhat less concerned that their child do everything ‘just so’ and more into their kids having fun. The gymnastics parents seemed much more high strung and the class seemed much more geared toward conformity.
I really struggle with these socialization issues. It is so hard to find the balance between wanting him to follow what the group is doing/how to act in a group and respecting who he is. I dosn’t want him to learn to conform without question, but he needs some level of conformity to be able to function well. I don’t know how to balance that. I like that he is different, but I struggle to know how to help and guide him because he is so different. He plays differently, he communicates differently, his energy level is vastly different. He is so much his own unique little person. I don’t want to do anything to squelch the pure joy, curiosity and excitement he exudes. I hope that by taking him to classes and seeing the behavior of the majority he will decide to join the group enough that we can continue things like dance classes and such. I want that for him, but I will not break his spirit to get “good” behavior. I don’t want him to obey without question. Too many people with that mentality have done so much harm to the world, from “but everyone else it doing it”, to “I was only following orders”, and the abilty to conform or think for yourself starts now. It would be so much easier if blind conformity was my goal. *sigh*
