Taking the Scenic Route

Although most of the day was a bit smoother, we did have a major meltdown today coming in from lunch recess.  He didn’t want to stand in line, I tried to move him to the back of the line instead of letting him randomly butt into line over and over, and he lost it.  Totally.  To the point that the principal, who was out helping the recess monitors came and walked with me as I carried him over to a quieter spot while the class went into the building.  Then she walked with him around the building (with me following) and talked to him.  (me following, and cluing her in on how to prompt yes/no after a question to help him respond when he is upset like that).  We went to her office for a bit and got him a book, which helped him pull it back together while I cooled off.  (I was dripping sweat from the heat and exertion). 

Most of the rest of the day went pretty OK, not perfect, but not bad either. 

During the day I started noticing a lot more comments about Zane from the classmates.  Nothing mean spirited, but trying to be ‘helpful’ to other teachers (like the music teacher) by stating that Zane doesn’t listen, or the kid who tried to tell me that he didn’t know what the color green was when I was prompting him that his table (the green table) was told to get up and go to the rug when he was engrossed in an activity and not noticing the instructions from the teacher.  Lots of little comments that made it clear that the other students were starting to wonder why Zane wasn’t getting in trouble for some of the minor things (looking forward, standing perfectly still, sitting without wiggling) that I was correcting him on, but he wasn’t getting “in trouble” for.  The teacher and I talked about it and decided it might be a good time to clue the class in on some of what is going on, including that Zane isn’t “stupid”, as some of the kids were starting to say.

When I brought up the comments I was starting to hear, and that I was concerned because even though he might not get the comments now (although I think he is starting to notice a bit too at times), he was developing so rapidly, that it is very likely he will understand it very soon.  It is a hard line to walk…my Mama Bear protectiveness doesn’t want anything bad said about my baby, but I think it was particularly bad because it wasn’t true, but he isn’t able to defend himself either.  When I brought up the “stupid” comment she said, with surprise, that he was definitely not stupid, and, in fact, scored way above the other kids in the class on the letter recognition/phonics test that the kids were given.  I knew he hadn’t done badly, but was surprised to learn he had not just done better than everyone in class, but did significantly better. 

So we decided that it was time to have ‘the talk’, and that I would leave a little early while she talked to the class.  We briefly discussed some of the points, including that he has a hard time with language and social skills (like standing in line, looking at people), but that he can do things that are hard for them, like reading.  Sort of along the lines of the week’s theme of ‘what makes you special’ and that everyone had different strengths and weaknesses. 

I now have to wait the weekend to find out how it went.  I should have arranged to talk to her after school, but I didn’t.  Now I have a knot in the pit of my stomach hoping I made the right decision to talk to her about it, to talk to his classmates about it, and how everybody is going to react to it.  It is such an unknown and such a big thing, and I hope I didn’t screw it up.