Monday October 9, 2006
Naturally, as soon as she is ‘let loose’, she makes a beeline right to him. At times he really seems to enjoy her, but, naturally, if he is doing something, he gets really upset that his sister is getting in the way. (I know this is ‘normal’ sibling behavior, but it is complicated by the speech delay). Instead of “mom, she’s bugging me”, he tries to get her away himself.
We have his “I need help” card velcroed to the computer, where there is most likely to be a conflict. We are staying right on top of him and monitoring the interactions and jumping in to help him get the card and try and say it right as he starts losing it, but (hopefully) right before he actually does anything.
The core problem is his lack of asking for help with moving her/getting her out of the way. (besides the typical sibling issues). I can’t let him try and move her on his own because he can’t reliably pick her up by her body, but keeps trying to lift her by the neck. (again, we are very closely monitoring him so she doesn’t get hurt)
I know my primary responsibility is to keep them both safe, but I would appreciate any suggestions on how to help him learn how to cope with her presence.
A part of me just feels really pissed because of how unfair it is to have to watch a almost 5 year old like a hawk to keep him from unintentionally (or intentionally) hurting his sister. She wants to be on the go all the time and is enamored by him. It is a horrible mix. You guys are the only group of people I know that would understand the level of supervision and vigilance I have to have and how draining it is.
Ok, any suggestions from those who have gone before me?
I thought about moving his computer to his room to avoid the conflict, but that isn’t really the actual issue, it is just expressing itself with that particular thing right now. I feel like he needs to learn to deal with it and if he is right in the middle of the living space (where his computer is) we are more able to be right there to correct behavior.
Mostly just need suggestions or insight on HOW to correct behavior in a way that can be generalized to other activities.
(((Hugs))) I agree that he needs to learn to deal with Zora. It sounds like if it’s not the computer it’ll be something else. Is there an instrument he can shake or bang (bells or something) when Zora is bothering him? A signal to you that he needs help that doesn’t make him deal with words. You could keep a bell on the computer desk and he shakes it when Zora is bothering him.
I hope you can figure out something. I’m sure you’re all terribly frustrated.