Taking the Scenic Route

Church this morning went pretty well.  The service was sort of odd, but it was odd on purpose.  They were finishing up a series of sermons that explored different styles of worship and today’s was a Charasmatic Episcipalian…it was like a Charismatic mixed with Catholic.  Very unusual.  The incense in the air did make the rays of sunshine coming in from the stained glass windows a colorful glow though, although I was glad I wasn’t up there for the service because I was starting to feel sneezy just waiting for the children’s story so I could go downstairs with Zane to the Children’s church.  I guess I wouldn’t make a good Catholic.  lol.

I was VERY happy with the children’s service.  That was the main thing that we were struggling with the church we have been going to.  Zach and I both just loved the sermons and overall attitude of the congregation, but the children were jammed into a crowded basement in too small rooms.  They also had a rotation Sunday School model that meant Zane would change rooms every few weeks.  That just wasn’t a good situation for him.  This church has a more typical Sunday School setting where he will be in the same room for a few years before going to the next room.  The room itself is spacious, well designed, and the sound wasn’t bouncing all over the place. Next week, after talking to the Sunday School director this week, we plan on going to regular Sunday School too.  Now that I have a feel for the place I am much less nervous about that.

Zora was surprisingly clingy when we went to the nursery.  I finally left and took her into the congregation, where she hung on Daddy for a while.  Eventually she wanted down and he took her back to the nursery and dropped her off with no incident.  She played happily the whole time.

After the children’s church, we went back upstairs to join the congregation for the final bit of the service.  When I went back into the room with Zane to sit down with Zach, the person sitting next to him (who wasn’t there when we went downstairs) was the ST from Zane’s school (and had evaluated him) whom I got along with really well.  She sort of jumped when she saw me and almost forgot she was in church as she greeted me.  lol.  It was an amazing coincidence.  After the service we talked a bit.  Besides being an ST, she is also the mom of an older (I think adult age, but at least a teen) SN child and told me that this church was really great with nontypical kids.  One of the pastors kids was SN before passing away, and that pastor (who also happens to be one of the co-leaders of the parent’s association at the school Zane went to) had helped advocate for her son when he was having problems receiving services one time. She took me to introduce us to the pastor.

Now, let’s take the coincidences just a bit farther.  Waaaaaay back, in the late 80s when I was a high school/early college student I used to perform in churches, doing readings and playing flute.  I went to my aunt’s church fairly often because she was a professional organist and was happy to be my accompanist (so I didn’t have to drag my music teacher around as much because he was usually my accompanist).  The minister there was young, single, and cute  …something you don’t see a lot, so I remembered him.  The pastor at this church had the same name, but I wasn’t sure if it was the same guy.  I asked him if he used to be a pastor at Mac years ago, and he was.  I asked if he remembered my aunt…he did…I asked if he remembered her niece that used to come play flute.  He did.  lol.  He even remembered my hometown and my mom.  He had just talked to my aunt two weeks ago. How funny is that?!?  Such a small, small world sometimes.

We will definitely be back.  It will take some time to determine if it will be “home”, but it is certainly looking up right now.

Tonight we went to a birthday party for Robert’s wife who is turning 40.  As it turns out, there were a few people from her playgroup there, one of whom I had met before at Exploration place and I think at Bionic Squirrel’s house.  That was a surprise.  As we chatted, we realized we were all on the attachment parenting group for Wichita, but most of us had never shown up to a playdate (all chicken. lol).  So, I maybe found another group to hang out with there. 

 Finally, a few photos from the pumpkin carving

There were lot’s of yummy roasted pumpkin seeds the next day too.  We are thinking of getting another pumpkin so he can make an original design instead of just tracing something.  (plus, there will be more pumpkin seeds to roast.  hee hee)

 Great Halloween Decoration

An interesting presentation exploring the issue of having an unusual set of skills.  Many times autistic people are chastised for knowing one thing, but not seeming to understand something that seems totally related to other people. 

Some great reads

on homosexuality

Free Privilege! at Shack in the Mountains blog

on autism

The Mismeasure of Autism linked from the Joy of Autism blog

 Jenny McCarthy and the problem of illusions from the Autism Diva blog  (scroll down a bit to get to the Jenny McCarthy part…it starts with “But now to go from the sublime to the surreal, Jenny McCarthy…”)

Well, we went shopping today.  Got Zane some pants.  As it turns out, he is still size 5 in a lot of clothes.  There are a few pairs of 5T pants that don’t fit him, but I forgot that we didn’t buy him any pants last winter because the size 4T still fit him.  So, he didn’t have any fleece or sweatpants in the right size, but he does have jeans.  We got him a few size 6 shirts today and when we tried them on, they were pretty big on him. 

Trying on clothes in the store is just a nightmare, but I think we are going to have to bite the screaming bullet next time.  Luckily, we didn’t buy much size 6 (they are smalls, 6-7s, which is probably why they are too big).  He seems to basically be at the top end of size 5.

We only got Zora a pair of jeans today.  Size 2.  I thought they were going to be way too big looking at them, but they fit.  Dang she is growing fast!

A very good thing

This week I went to an ASD/PDD parent’s group meetup.  It was really fun!  I felt connected to pretty much all the other parents immediately and hope to have some playdates soon.  I wish they all lived closer to me, but it would be worth it to drive (as much as our car will allow) to go see them.  It was so lively and fun, with no less than three conversations going on at any one time and we all shifted topics over and over again.  It had a similar energy as when we get to spend time with my best friend and her husband.  It was a bunch of adults, who all had a larger than life personality, who were starved for conversation.  What is sort of amusing is that most of the group either was not from Kansas, or are self-described as not really fitting in to Kansas culture all that well because we aren’t, by nature, quiet and passive.  Most of us seem to have an activism/advocate gene too.

I also got to go to a restaurant I have never been to before, but hope to return to.  Old Chicago (at Kellogg and Rock) hosted and it was really yummy.  They let us have a meeting room, so we could be as energetic as we wanted to be. 

Even though it was a few days ago, I still find myself smiling when I think about it.  A very good thing for us.

A very scary thing

Zane broke away from the group at the Corn Maze for a bit.  As soon as we noticed (we were stopped, helping the littlest ones with something…don’t remember what, but we remembered a group of middle-school aged kids running past us, and speculated that he ran after them), I took off in a sprint down the corridor.  At first it was just one straight shot, and the only offshoots were dead ends, but then I came to a 4 way intersection, and couldn’t see him down any of the paths.  I had to choke back the panic and visions of police and news crews searching for the “lost autistic kid” in the large maze.  In what can only be described as a miracle, despite the wind roaring through the corn and the rustling stalks, I heard his footsteps, running, and turned that direction and sprinted down the long path, looking for him at each intersection, just barely catching the sound of his footsteps running as I went, propelling me towards him. Suddenly, he ran across my path, another 20 yards in front of me and I shouted his name and “STOP” and he stopped.  I could see the fear in his face as I got closer, and yelled to the group that I had found him.  He met me, and we walked back to the group.  As we went back, I was amazed at the distance we had covered.  There is no way I should have been able to hear him like that.  It was impossibly windy.  Thank goodness for miracles and answered prayer.

A very sweet thing

My folks came up last night and we had a nice evening.   They brought up some steaks and we put them on the grill for supper.  Both of the kids were really excited to see them.  Zane brought over a book and read to Grandma, and was eager to show them the pumpkins.  At one point the stem broke off of his little pumpkin and he was asking for glue to put it together.  Just a note…washable school glue does not hold on pumpkin stems. 

Zora was content to just snuggle with Grandma for a while, and borrow her bracelets to wear.  When she did finally climb down from Grandma’s lap, she kept bringing her books to read. 

Later, Zane brought the pumpkin carving kit to Grandpa and described what he wanted to do.  (carve pumpkin, but he described it in the steps).  So, when we finally said yes, he ran to his room where he had taken the big pumpkin and lugged it out (dropping it over the gate in his doorway) and took it to the table.  He wanted to use one of the templates, but chose the only “face” for us to carve into the pumpkin.  He helped as much as he could, but the actual pumpkin carving was a challenge for even Zach, so it was really too hard for Zane to do the actual cutting part.  He was very much present though and excited as the pumpkin took shape. 

After Grandma and Grandpa left (with waves, “I Love Yous” and blowing kisses by both kids) we got the bowl of pulp and seeds and separated out the seeds.  Zane helped with the seed separation, and Zora played with the pulp.  Once the seeds were separated, I rinsed them off, then put them in a bowl with some brine and left them on the counter to soak a bit before roasting them.  That was a bad idea.  I sat down for a bit, and noticed it didn’t sound right in the kitchen.  I went in to discover Zane stirring the bowl with the smallest pumpkin, and upon further inspection, discovered that he had added both cereal and milk to the bowl of raw pumpkin seeds in brine.  Yeach!  It took a while to pick out the soggy cereal pieces and rinse the milk out of them, and by that time, we put the kids to bed and decided to roast the seeds today instead. 

We were so tired we didn’t even watch a movie.  Just sat on the computers a bit and then called it a night.

The Saturday we choose to go with Robert’s family to the Pumpkin Patch turned out to be incredibly windy.  It was so windy that Zora had a hard time staying on her feet.

Hayrack ride

Corn Maze

He was told to wait.  lol.

Pumpkin Patch

Robert brought his boys over for another sleep over before our trip to the Pumpkin Patch tomorrow.  The kids are having a blast.

The boys brought over a bunch of Halloween hair spray and Zane wanted to join in the fun too.  He was very specific in that he wanted orange.  Right after this we went to do some grocery shopping, and the guys all thought that was pretty cool to be wandering through Target with such cool hair.

In the evening they had a ‘ball fight’ with all the balls from Zane’s ball pit thing he got from his OT.  Even Zora joined in on the exhuberant play.

Later in the evening, they played a video game together.

“Castle, house, and bridge”

Fighting sleep

Birds begin to migrate and the backyard rings with the cacaphony

Some school

Zora’s favorite book, “Wheels on the bus”

Theme of the week:  Put clothes over our head and wear them on our neck.

The rain fell so hard on the way back from OT today it rivalled a blizard.  Zane ran through the house and into the backyard to play in the downpour.

And afterwards, a full double rainbow greeted us.

Life is good.

This week, for a moment, time stood still.  I sat in the backyard with the kids, in an effort to take the noise out of the house because Zach was trying to take a nap and their energy filled the place.  I sat and watched Zora chase Zane, and the two of them giggling together in their game.  The sun was warm, the wind was roaring in the Cottonwood trees, drowning out the sounds of the city.  In our fenced yard, only a hint of the breeze snuck through to ruffle our hair.

After a while, Zora made her way to me and clamored up into my arms, and lay her head on my shoulder.  As I snuggled with her, watching Zane gallop around the yard in happy contentment, I started to feel her her warmth and notice her breathing, steady, and deep, slowing after her exertion.  I was suddenly hit with how much she had grown.  As I look at her toddler legs, complete with the bumps and scrapes of her adventurous spirit, sprawled out over me, I remember that it was not long ago that she seemed to be all lung.  So small that it seemed every part of her breathed.  Then I had the growing realization that for the first time, she was just snuggling with me.  She wasn’t clamoring to nurse, she was content just to be held and snuggled and it was enough.  In my arms, in that moment, she grew up just a bit.  My baby girl is growing up.

My son is growing up too.  First, physically, he is growing.  Two weeks ago he still fit into size 4 pants.  On Monday we were surprised to discover he had outgrown his 5T pants, and went through several pants trying to find some that fit.  His shirts look noticeably smaller too.  I guess both of my kids need winter clothes now.  Yikes!

And then today, much to our surprise, Zane ran up to Zach and announced “toothy!”.  Zach turned to see what he meant, and he stood there holding one of his teeth.  It was one that had a cap on it, and he had a bloody spot in his mouth showing where it had come from.  Well, we weren’t sure exactly how the tooth came out, and he said the empty spot hurt.  Since the tooth was not the “next” one we were expecting him to lose, we called the dentist, who said to come right in.  We didn’t know if our day was going to involve a trip to the hospital to have him sedated to dig out roots, or if it was just a normal baby tooth lost.  Much to our relief, it was the latter.  The really great news is that Zane participated in the dental appointment like a reasonably typical kid, allowing the dentist to look in his mouth, and even letting him take x-rays.  That part made me feel a little teary from absolute joy.  A few short months ago we still had to do “just a quick glance” because he wasn’t able to cooperate well enough for the standard x-rays and such.  My beautiful boy is growing up too. 

I am the luckiest mom ever.