Taking the Scenic Route

I noticed today some of the direct affects of being the mom of an autistic child.

It struck me today how much easier it is for me to take pictures, especially in situations where before I wouldn’t have because I would be afraid that people might think me odd. I am able to push past that and just do it anyway because of the skin I have grown having to deal with constantly being judged by people for having a child who doesn’t behave in socially appropriate ways. I just don’t care as much what other people think of me any more. I can’t. I couldn’t cope with life if I let it get to me so I have learned not to let it affect me. There is a freedom with that I might never have experienced if it weren’t for Zane joining our lives.

The other thing that has changed is that I take a lot more pictures in general. I like taking pictures, but I think that I take more because it is the way I communicate with Zane. Where words fail to communicate, pictures step in and tell the story. It is a universal language that he understands.

I am also more aware of patterns and other details. I see the world differently. There are a ton of pictures I haven’t posted yet because I am waiting until it is a more cohesive collection, but it is a series of pictures of just the tiles and patterns of the architecture. I found joy in them and wanted to share it with Zane because I knew he would enjoy it. I see things that I would have passed over before him. It adds a richness to my life that would have been empty before, and I wouldn’t have even realized it was empty.

Just a few musing as I sit here half a world away from the kiddo that has changed me so much. Ah, I miss the kids. It took me a few days, but I miss them now.