Taking the Scenic Route

Zane woke up Sunday morning out of sorts, so I called the church to let them know we weren’t going to make it. (He has a “para” person that meets him, so we can’t just not show up). Since Zora was rarin’ to go, we decided that I would stay home with Zane and Zach would take Zora to the nearby church that we used to go to (and loved, but it was when the autism dx was brand new and we didn’t know how to make it work and were afraid to ask).

Unlike the last 8 months, Zach enjoyed the sermon and service so much, he actually called me from the parking lot to tell me about it (keep in mind, the church is less than a mile away). It really brought to head how incredibly disappointing the experience at the MB church has been.

Instead of walking out of church feeling spiritually renewed and excited and ready to meet the challenges of life, we would walk out feeling irritable, frustrated, and like we wanted both showers to get the ickies off and a nap to recover. The worst part is that I was in denial that it just wasn’t going well for Zane, the only thing that was keeping us there after a few weeks. We have been there long enough that he should have looked more engaged and excited, but he still had the flat affect and did not seem to be enjoying it at all. Zora is like I was as a child, and as long as there are people there, she is ok, but honestly, I have seen her more excited to go to Zane’s therapy as she was to go to church, and that isn’t really what I want for her either.

With the exception of one sermon series on Jacob, which had interesting pieces here and there, the sermons were rather empty of substance. They were NOTHING like the Mennonite churches I grew up with and pretty much exemplified every stereotypical negative about an Evangelical Right Wing church you can imagine, right down to the “Focus on the Family” hate mail propaganda in the mailbox.

Last week, I had a glimmer of hope when the pastor said something about the Muslim community beginning Ramadom and that we should pray for them. My face lit up…was I seeing actual compassion for Muslims in war torn communities and facing so much prejudice here in the US? Uh, no. When I got to my mailbox after church I saw the ‘prayer calendar’. It is a nice concept…everybody praying for a particular person/group/country at the same time, but the prayers, just ugh. Every day had a different city and country and we were supposed to pray that they see the error of their ways and come to Jesus. You have GOT to be kidding. THIS is what they pray about? How self centered and self righteous can you possibly be? I so don’t belong there.

Seeing the church we like has not changed, despite the death of the beloved pastor, made me hungry for that fellowship and interaction again. It also made me hungry for real music, not this “lets sing the same phrase over and over again with no harmony” stuff (I am a tenor/contra alto…I squeak trying to push out soprano), to hear a sermon that uses three syllable words and assumes a level of cultural and biblical literacy, a church bulletin that actually explains what is going on instead of just slick marketing material, and a service that feels like a fellowship instead of a stage show. I know, for a fact, I can not take one single Sunday more of “6000 year old earth” crap, “if you don’t spank your children you are disobeying God” stupidity, and listening to regular slams to how horrible liberals are. I certainly won’t miss running into that school social worker that was so evil and/or incompetent that it pushed me towards homeschooling, who seemed oblivious to how much she destroyed my faith in human beings for a while and still makes me distrust schools. I also won’t miss the long drive there on Sundays. The church we are moving to is less than a mile away and that means we will be able to participate in the events during the week too, not just Sunday morning.

I will miss seeing a few high school friends I hadn’t seen in decades. I will still be seeing the other family (the ones who invited me) with the autistic twins at therapies and events for the autistic community and homeschooling community and I hope she and I can still be friends because, despite our differences, there are still a lot of similarities between us.

Now the hard part. I am expecting a call back from the children’s minister/sunday school person to talk about what we can do to help make this a better situation for Zane. Frankly, even if Zach and I have to take turns being a para to Zane, seeing the sermon every other week is still far better than hearing the MB sermons every week. lol. I need to try and find the phone numbers of the people that worked with Zane at the MB church. I do appreciate the effort, but it just isn’t working for us. I know that all the numbers I need are locked inside the computer that died, and not sure how many of them I will be able to find. *sigh*

Siblings of Special Needs kids spend a lot of time in waiting rooms. You always hope that the other kids who have appointments at the same time have sibilings of similar ages to play with. During our Tuesday appointments, there is a little girl, about a year old. Not quite old enough to really play, but just starting to skirt around the action and watching Zora all the time. The little boy plays with Zora when his appointment is over. He is on the spectrum also, but much higher functioning given his language and interaction. He and Zora chase each other through the tunnel, both giggling like crazy. They were moving a little too fast to really get clear pictures, but I wanted to capture the moment anyway. (btw, she did have shoes. She put them in the play refrigerator at one point. lol)

The guys working on “Arthur” together at the computer a few days ago.

Tonight Star Wars (#4) was on tv, and unlike the past, where Zane was only mildly interested in it, today he ran into the room and jumped up and down, flapping and giggling with glee. He had completed the entire Star Wars Lego game on Nintendo within the last week or two, so he knows the 4-5-6 stories (New Hope, Empire, and Return of the Jedi) for the most part now. (The Lego version is much sanitized and pretty funny for those of you not familiar with it). After the credits rolled (because he must watch all the credits, but at least he doesn’t want to watch only the credits any more) he asked for “Hoth”. (that ice planed in Empire Strikes Back for the non-geeks). Zach went and dug out our copy and put it in for Zane.

Zach told me later that he actually got a little teary eyed seeing him so excited about it. Gotta love nerds.

I have really tried not to say too much about the presidential race because the last election left me so enraged and fed up with the whole thing. This election seems to be more surreal. I am just watching on in disbelief at the Republicans. Wonder if they are calling in Jerry Springer to host the upcoming conventions. lol

I don’t want McCain as president, but I don’t have a total hate for him either, certainly not like I had for idiotic embarrasement we have for a president now. I am a little stunned and amused that he picked Sarah Palin. I guess Republicans think that women vote on gonads rather than the issues, because you would have to be a moron to think she is going to lure away disgruntled Hillary voters. She has about the most opposite stance on every issue out there. She would make a horrid VP for anybody who supported Hillary. (or president since the likelyhood of the VP on this ticket being in the Oval Office is pretty high considering the age of McCain)

I also just can’t believe they would pick a woman like this when “family values” and the appearance thereof are so “important” to them. Here is a mom who went back to work 3 DAYS after giving birth to her special needs child. (and there is a HUGE difference between going back because you want to and because you need to if you want to survive…she didn’t need to) Now, it turns out her dh was arrested for drunk driving (of couse the republicans didn’t care that Bush was a coke head, so this probably won’t amount to anything), and her 17 year old daughter is pregnant and about to have a shotgun wedding. She also has a son who is going to be deployed soon and another elementary aged kid. The dad isn’t a SAHD (which would at least mitigate it a bit, although he obviously isn’t lactating and I think it is pretty crappy that she isn’t even attempting to form a breastfeeding relationship with a child that obviously needs it). Isn’t this supposed to be the party that values a stay at home parent to raise the kids?

If she waited a few years, she might actually have some experience and her kids would be in a better place and could tolerate the spotlight a little better. I just can’t believe this is the best they could do. Really? I almost feel bad for the Republicans. What a mind blowing choice.

Lookin’ good for Obama.

ps. I also really enjoy the fact that sexist bigots are between a rock and a hard place this election. Really, REALLY liking that.