Taking the Scenic Route

Tuesday April 24, 2007

24th April 2007

Tuesday April 24, 2007

A victory for us.  A good dental appointment for Zane this time around.  As many of you know, the last Dental appointment with Zane went horribly, both the appointment itself, and the fact we ended up having to have him in the hospital to put caps on teeth because he wouldn’t tolerate being awake.  For the last year our OT has been helping us work with him to brush teeth, and it has ever so gradually gotten better, but still is a struggle.

This time, although he was somewhat resistant, he did let the tech brush his teeth.  He also opened his mouth for the dentist enough that he could get a decent look at his teeth.  He complimented Zane (and Zach, since he is the one who brushes his teeth most nights) on how great his teeth and gums looked, and that the caps still look really good. 

He also said that the pain Zane was complaining about was from new teeth coming in.  His front teeth are pushing up, but he could also see the molars in the back, which are really big, about to push through too.  On a side note, I can not TELL you how WONDERFUL it is to have Zane be able to communicate that he has pain now.  It is something I am not sure if you can really, truly appreciate until you have been without it.  We at least know what we are dealing with and it reduces the stress a lot in our family. 

I was so relieved when Zach said it went well and we wouldn’t be scheduling another surgery for Zane.  Such a major relief.  It feels so wonderful to see some hard work on all of our parts come to fruition too.

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24th April 2007

Tuesday April 24, 2007

Thank you all for your comments on my protected post.  (it wasn’t all that juicy for those not subscribed…just bedtime and toddler frustrations)  There are a lot of good suggestions there, and I talked to my best friend (who is on child #4 and runs an in home daycare) and she gave me some ideas too.  Honestly, just venting helped a lot.  Today has been better and I have some more strategies for the bedtime issues, which will, in turn, help with a lot of the cranky baby/mama during the day. 

I also got a better handle on my laundry, and Zach made a super yummy veggie pizza by roasting eggplant, peppers, grape tomatoes, portobella mushroom, and zucchini on the grill, and then putting it on a homemade rosemary pizza crust and an olive oil/fresh basil/fresh garlic “sauce”.  To top it, he threw on a few black olives, some feta and Italian cheese.  It was so, so good and we have leftovers for breakfast/lunch tomorrow.  After yesterday’s vent, Zora didn’t even throw her food, but put her crusts down carefully on the table and when I asked her if she was all done (along with the sign) and instead of a non-response or screaming as a response, she first furrowed up her brow and held her hands in front of her (like she was trying to remember the sign), and then just decided to pop her arms up (like “stick ‘em up” movement) to tell me she wanted me to pick her up (out of the chair).  It was so cute and it totally floored me.  Zane also ate really good and stayed at the table through 3 pieces of his cheese pizza.  Actually, come to think of it, he ate really well all day today.  He even spontaneously asked for food and apple juice on separate occasions today. 

Amazing how much difference a day can make some times. 

Cute bedtime antidote from Zane tonight:

In the never-ending “God Bless…..” stories, tonight he listed everybody he could think of, and when he ran out of names, he declared “God Bless Everybody!”.  lol.  Yes indeed.  He also sang “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” on tune.  (he usually sings really monotone and flat).

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23rd April 2007

Monday April 23, 2007

I made a protected post if anybody has any advice

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23rd April 2007

Monday April 23, 2007

I am just going to lose my mind with my baby girl.  She finally does the whole bedtime routine without the hours of crying as I gently, but firmly, lay her back down while repeating the mantra “it is time to sleep…lay down…close your eyes…it is time to sleep” about 10 thousand times.  We finally got over that hump.  Now she goes to sleep in a reasonable amount of time after the books, the peek-a-boo, the prayers and the songs.  However, about 20 minutes later, she is back up again.  Then we go through a horrible cycle of getting her back to sleep, her essentially napping for 10-20 minutes, and waking up even *more* ready to get up.  The worse part is that, unlike Zane, who had a specific purpose in mind when he wanted to get up (usually to play a game or something like that), she just stands at my feet and cries or dismantles something or throws stuff.  When I do try and nurse her, she bites me, so I put her down, which just sets her off into a rage that makes me want to rip out my hair in frustration.  She is destroying all the ‘couple time’ we so carefully carve out for ourselves and it is so dang frustrating. 

Granted, in the scheme of things, she is much better than Zane was at this age.  It doesn’t even compare.  At this age he was a “20 hours awake, 4 hours asleep” cycle (and similar wacked out sleep issues) that just about did us in.  However, the fact that it lasted until he was about 4  (and he wasn’t firmly into a nice bedtime routine until around 5) makes it really hard to just see this as a ’stage’ because experience tells me that it is a very, very long stage no matter how firm, consistent and disciplined you are. 

She also seems incapable of playing by herself.  Ever.  Absolute polar opposite of Zane.  With him, it takes self discpline on our part to seek out his attention even when you aren’t feeling sociable because he needs to be drawn out of himself and practice social skills.  She, on the other hand, must have somebodys full attention at all times or she is going to make everybody around her absolutely miserable.  If it was just the grown-ups, it would still be frustrating, but it really affects Zane too.  My boy who doesn’t like to eat in the first place, left the table tonight, even though it was one of his favorite meals, when she started throwing food and screaming, and then screamed even louder when we took away the food from her.  He wouldn’t come back to the table and I know it is because listening to her go off like that is physically painful for him.  Heck, it is painful for me and I don’t live in a world of my senses being overloaded every minute like he does. 

By noon I am just so touched out.  I don’t want her to even be within 3 feet of me by the time early evening rolls around because she just hangs on me all.the.time.  She does nothing but whine and cry for the hours preceding every nap and bedtime.  She cries for a good half hour after she gets up.  That means we have *maybe* 2-3 hours the entire day when she is not massively cranky, and usually some of that gets sucked up by eating. 

She seems to never get “full” of interactions.  Zach takes her out daily, sometimes several times a day, and it helps, but she is also starting to be really difficult when out.  She can get out of ANY belt, will not sit in a grocery cart, will bite and pinch and scream and flail if she is not getting what she wants.  He gets down on the floor and play with her, but within minutes she wants me.  If he keeps trying to engage her, she starts whacking him on the head with books or toys.  It isn’t fun. 

We haven’t even hit the “terrible twos” yet. 

I also know it is likely to be teething, again.

I am just so frustrated.  Zane is so open to learning right now.  I try and squeeze in a lesson or two or a game or something and it seems like she can not stay occupied, no matter what I do, so that I can get a little one on one time with him.  I think that has more to do with wanting to get him into school than anything.  A part of me would prefer to put her in daycare for a while just so I can work with Zane a little more without the constant interuption.  Lets not even talk about what this is doing to my ability to keep up on laundry or unpack.  If it weren’t for Zach, we would be living off of canned food and walking over trash and clutter all the time because there is only so much I can do, especially with 20 lbs of tornado attached to my ankles.

Also, if she isn’t hanging on me, she is destroying whatever Zane is trying to do.  She colors over his drawings, she messes up his sand sculptures, she steals the trains/cars/playing pieces/paper he is working with.  Today he got so frustrated he dumped a bucket of sand on her head when I stepped away for a moment to go to the bathroom.  I totally understand why.  I still had to make him come inside because he wasn’t playing nicely, but frankly, I wish I could have done it because she just won’t leave any of us alone for even a minute. 

I totally get CIO now.  I wish I was stupid enough to think it would help her learn to ’soothe herself’ because it would alleviate a lot of guilt.  However, I know that it isn’t fair to do that to her, but I can not for the LIFE of me figure out how to redirect this and by the end of the day I am SO glad she is asleep because I know I can’t take another second of it.  Is this even remotely normal?  I don’t know normal.  Is this ever going to get better?  All the things I know about parenting indicate a “stage” is years and years long and I am not sure if I can take years of this. 

I love her.  I even like her most of the time.  I just wish she had an “off” button so I could get some sleep and do some laundry or something.  I am just amazed some days that I manage to get through it without screaming or throwing things or any number of other things I want to do because I just am on overload.  I suck it up.  I deal.  But I am not enjoying a lot of aspects of this stage right now.  I really am fighting to find the cute things right now because I know that this is *nothing* in the scheme of things.  Aaaarggg!

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22nd April 2007

Sunday April 22, 2007

I think we can officially declare that Zora has more words than “Mama” and “Dada”.  Her official first word where there is no doubt about the meaning?  ~~~~drumroll please~~~~~ “Book”!  How cool is that?  The girl has a serious love for books, followed closely by shoes and trucks/cars. 

How she ended up loving shoes when she didn’t even own a pair until last fall, and only owned one pair until a Grammie gifted her another pair this January is beyond me, but the girl just loves shoes.  She carries them around with her.  That same Grammie sent her another pair yesterday and when Zach removed them from her hands to go into various stores (he took her with him for some outings since she loves being out and about) she actually cried the entire shopping trip until she was back in the car holding the shoes. 

You know you have a small yard when a $5 sprinkler has to be adjusted to keep from watering your neighbors. 

Enjoy the summer fun

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warm up snuggle with mama

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Entire cities are cropping up on our fences.  I love it!

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21st April 2007

Saturday April 21, 2007

The local fire department came out and gave rides to the kids during preschool in some of their large engines.  Zane was really excited.  He got to ride in the front seat.  At one point, the driver took a corner too quickly and all the notebooks and gloves came flying onto Zane’s lap, but instead of freaking out, he just caught it and put each thing carefully back on the area they came from.  He did fantastic and really seemed to enjoy it.

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19th April 2007

Thursday April 19, 2007

Zach and Zane drew this great series of mazes on our back porch this morning.  Zane enjoyed walking through the mazes.

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waiting for speech therapy

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exporing the goofy statue together

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speech therapy

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18th April 2007

Wednesday April 18, 2007

Our former landlords have LOST THIER MINDS.  They are trying to charge us $800-some for cleaning up the apartment, and get this…they claim they had to use all sorts of special equipment because there was “human feces everywhere”.  We literally laughed out loud when we read that.  It is so insane it is hard to even comprehend.  We shot back a letter to them saying that we agree that the refrigerator and oven needed to be cleaned (which was an outrageous charge of $150…but hey, we were so sick when we moved out, we didn’t care), which leaves $50 of our deposit that is still owed to us.  Everything else was either normal wear and tear or without merit.  We sent it via certified mail to make sure they got it.  I wonder what the heck they were thinking?  I just can’t even believe this, but there is no way they can prove it because it simply isn’t true, so I am not afraid of a court battle if it comes to that.  This is so annoying and unneccesary.  I don’t even really care about getting the deposit back, but to try and charge us money for something so patently ridiculous is beyond the pale.

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18th April 2007

IEP madness

We finally got them to give us the consent to test paperwork to sign so we could start the clock.  (she did seem to want to actually get to that part in a few days, but didn’t act too annoyed when we insisted the paperwork be signed today) Granted, at this point, the clock doesn’t run out until into the next school year, but it sounds like they plan to make a genuine effort to get the evals done and the IEP in place before then, so I am happy.  I was happy with the social worker there and she seems to really want to do a good job.  They just implemented a new procedure for evaluating preschool/kindy kids on April 1st, and we are the first people to go through the process, so she is eager to get it right and make this thing work.  That is a good thing.  I just hope there aren’t any snags because it is a new process.

The only part of the meeting that got under my skin in a major way was the nurse abruptly demanding Zane be tested alone for the eye test.  Zach stood right outside the door, and we were both pissed off afterwards that we let her do that, but we were so stunned with her attitude that it took us by surprise.  She “claimed” that he was able to pass it with the glasses on.  I am having problems believing that he actually read the chart for her to be honest.  He read some of it just fine without glasses yesterday, but it wasn’t good enough for her because he started goofing off (he was bored because she was going so freaking slow and started making a game out of it).  In retrospect, I suspect she just claimed that because she wanted us out of her hair and because she wanted to make some sort of convoluted point that he *needed* glasses.  If I would have seen him pass the test easily with glasses and struggling without glasses I would be content, but considering he reads things from a distance regularly and only wears glasses as long as they are a novelty, I am really thinking she is just trying to blow smoke up our butts.  Whatever.  As far as I know, we only have to deal with her one more time for some sort of health assessment (because, apparently, she thinks a doctor’s exam isn’t good enough…oy) and then we shouldn’t have to deal with her again.  He is going to go to a different school, but since this is the one closest to us (but doesn’t have an autism program so we will go to another school), this is the one we have to deal with until we get officially transferred.

One thing I did agree with the nurse on is how the current vaccine schedule for the school district varies from the one the doctors follow.  In a craptastic piece of bureaucracy, if you have your MMR before you are four years old, you have to repeat it to go to this school district.  Thankfully, we delayed ds’ vaxes and he got his MMR only a few months ago, and are set to get the second half of the series within a few months.  This is not a state where it is easy to get vax waivers either.  At least by delaying vaxes, and fighting most of the doctors he has had every step of the way to do so, he doesn’t get stuck (pun intended) with having even more toxins in his body just because of this idiocy.

In praise of private therapies, when I mentioned yesterday afternoon that we would need copies of everything to present to the school district, including the official diagnosis, not only did they know what the school district needed, they had it ready by today.  Kickin’ some butt there.  I need to tell the other place the same thing.

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17th April 2007

Tuesday April 17, 2007

Before I pulled the camera out we took this sheet (one that grandma left for us to play with) and first made a tent (like Grandma), then took it and used it to create a hammock type thing and swung Zane for a while.  Zora wanted to do the same thing, but she is too little, so she didn’t get to join in that part of the fun, but she did get a kick out of watching Zane, so all was good.)

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I don’t even want to know how bad of grass stains this made. lol.  He thought the blanket sled was pretty cool though.

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Zach spinning him around in the sheet.  Zane couldn’t get enough of this and Zach got tired long before Zane wanted to be done.

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lost tooth #2 today.  no wonder he was so resistant to brushing teeth last night.

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taking a break

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and, after posting that, I realized you don’t even see the second sheet.  lol.  it was there, just didn’t make the cut.

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  • Zane's age

  • Zane is 18 years, 5 months, and 4 days old
  • Zora's age

  • Zora is 14 years, 5 months, and 8 days old
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  • Each person has something no one else has or ever will have. Encouraging our children to discover their uniqueness and helping develop its creative expression can be one of the greatest gifts and greatest delights of parenthood — Fred Rogers

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