Taking the Scenic Route

She had jaundice, which is pretty common for a near-term newborn.  Fortunately, this hospital has an alternative to being stuck in a box with the glow lights.  They had her wrapped up with a pad, sort of like a heating pad, but with the Billi lights in it.  Normally, the pad just rests on the back of the babies and isn’t very intrusive.  However, due to her size, it was really enveloping her.  We had to keep her wrapped really carefully to keep the light from blinding her and anybody looking at her because the light peaked out over her shoulders and from her sides.  She looked like those Glo Worm dolls I remember wanting when I was a kid.  At night, she lit up the whole area around her, even if she did have blankets on.  The bulkiness of it also made breastfeeding really challenging, although not nearly as bad as the box would have been, so I am very grateful it was available.  Another aspect of the Billi blanket was that it had a somewhat short, thick umbilical cord that went to the control unit.  The night nurse ended up helping us rearrange our room so that the bassinet with the control unit was in the middle of the room instead of being stuck between me and the couch and away from the door.  This also allowed my mom not to have to do gymnastics to get to the couch to sit or sleep. 

The other issue she was fighting was low blood sugar.  She had to get heel sticks several times a day to monitor her glucose level.  Although I had lot of colostrum, it was getting a bit nerve wracking to deal with the fact my milk wasn’t in yet, even though it would be really early for my milk to be in already.  I must say that the people doing the heel sticks were amazingly gentle.  They always took the time to warm her heel up and when they stuck her, they didn’t just squeeze the heck out of her little feet.  Instead they gently squeezed it, urging only a drop or two of blood out at a time.  My mom had the painful job of going with her to the nursery each time to watch her being tested.  I didn’t see the tests they were doing until the last night I was there and I am really thankful that my mom was able to cope with that before that point.  I was having a hard enough time without seeing that in those early days. 

Finally talking to Zach

Meanwhile, at home, Zane is feeling sick

My best friend was in the area for Christmas and stopped by the hospital before going to her parents house.  I have known her since we worked together a lifetime ago at Sirloin Stockade.  She thought I was nuts when she met me because I was very particular about how to refill the sugar packets in the little containers on the table.  lol  Zach and I have held all three of those girls as little babies and the youngest one is a pregnancy where Dawn and I had the same due date.  So, I could easily have one her age…exactly her age.  Dawn and I are again pregnant at the same time, but this time it is looking more hopeful for us both to get to delivery.  She also brought the cloth diapers she had been sewing for me.  It will be a bit before even the newborn Very Baby diapers are going to fit.  Of course, it will also be a bit before we can add cloth diapering to our routine at this point.

Honestly, there should be a whole lot more pictures of my mom through all of this.  She was there every minute.  She followed the baby to the nursery when she had to get tests done, she learned how to syringe feed her, she held the baby skin-to-skin during times when I was too groggy to safely hold her and needed sleep, and she made sure that I got food I could eat (food allergies and cafeteria food are not always a great combination).  She was a rock through all of this.  When I was being challenged for my refusal to supplement, she backed me up and helped me to follow my heart when I was so tired I could have been manipulated more easily.  If you would have told me in my teens and 20s that I could spend a week with my mom under a stressful situation and we got along great the whole time I would have said you were dreaming.  We didn’t even get annoyed with each other.  It was really great to have that kind of relationship with her now, especially considering where we came from. 

Sweetie…you are only 4lbs +, you might want to wait to work on lifting your head.  lol.

Zach’s Xanga Posts from this day:  post 1, post 2

We arrived about two hours before the c-section was scheduled.  Unlike Zane’s birth, we checked in to the same room that I stayed in the entire week instead of room jumping every few hours that first day.  Zane and my folks spent most of this time out in the hall because I didn’t want to take the chance of Zane bumping the bed or getting upset when they are trying to get IVs in me.  They actually hit me on the first try, which I am not sure has ever happened with an IV.  Yea!     

I walked from this room to the OR, just down the hall.  In the OR I started shaking uncontrollably.  I had parts of my body shaking that I didn’t realize could shake. I was actually having problems talking because my jaw was shaking so hard.   They kept getting me those warmed blankets, which did help some.  After glancing at my blood pressure reading once I decided I needed to not look at that again…it was in the 185/115 range.  I am sure the situation wasn’t helping, but those are some scary numbers!   

Getting the epidural was a lot more painful this time.  I wasn’t expecting it to hurt since it didn’t last time and when the pain hit me I grabbed the wrist of the nurse trying to get the monitors set around my belly.  I quickly let go and apologized for grabbing her so hard.  At that point she took my hand and held it and it was so kind I almost started crying. 

It took longer than normal to get the anesthesia this time.  My blood pressure bottomed out during my section with Zane, so they were being really cautious about the dosage.  Zach came in once the epi was set.  One thing really nice is that I was able to keep my arms from being tied down.   Zach and I held hands.  It took them a bit to get through the scar tissue and there was the strangest little clicking sound while they worked through that.  (might be the gloves…I think non-latex gloves make more noise) 

She cried as soon as soon as she was born.  I didn’t realize until then how afraid I was of that moment being silent, like it was with Zane.  I burst into tears of relief upon hearing it.  She was tiny, but feisty.  Her first apgar was 7, her second was 9.  There was such a huge difference in the room and the reaction of the staff…I knew everything was ok.  I found out later that she was breech.  I guess I was really destined for a c-section with her birth. 

Just outside the c-section room my entourage waits while I am being prepped for surgery.  Notice the sun getting ready to rise in the background. My mom brought playdough and other distractions for Zane.  He was really excited to see them, despite not feeling his best. 

Zane started pooping out as the wait got longer.

The nursery is just off the c-section room.  Zach followed Zora as soon as she was born.  He watched as they did their measurements.  He noticed that they had a big note to NOT vax her for Hep B, but we did decide to do the vitamin K since she was pre-term (and at a higher risk for brain bleeding) and the eye drops.  Zach got to cut the umbilical cord. 

My first look

Zach holding his little girl.

We didn’t introduce Zane to her ‘in person’ (only through the glass at the nursery) because of his cold.  Zach left shortly after this because Zane was starting to get cranky and was not feeling well.  The adrenaline of the new experience had worn off for him and he was ready to go back to bed.  Originally, I was planning on seeing Zach later again that day, and expecting them to come up once or twice a day while I was in the hospital.  As it turned out, this was the last time I would see him for a week. 

The nurse gave her the first bath.  They used an insert in the baby tub to fit her (which I didn’t realize until I saw the pictures because the tub was eye level for me)  She had an actual tub bath which surprised me.  The nurse said they started doing that about 8 years ago instead of the sponge baths because there had been studies done and there was no difference in how the cord was affected in tub vs. sponge baths.  I don’t think they did the alcohol swab around the cord either for the same reason.  (I could be wrong on that…it might have been done in the nursery when she went in for testing every few hours). 

The hats were all hand knitted by a group of church ladies.  They had quite a selection of them.  On a funny “you can tell I knit” note, the hats were constructed sideways instead of starting at the brim…instead of 2×2 purl and knit stitches, they were knit with 2 rows of knit, then two rows of purl.  I had never thought of doing a rib stitch that way.  The hats were also huge and we had a hard time keeping it on her head.

And now, finally, I get to see her with my glasses on.  Wow she is tiny!  The epidural was really high, affecting even my arms and hands to a degree, so I had to have help with nursing again.  I was thrilled to find she did have the rooting and latching reflex, even though she had a rough time actually accomplishing it.  We weren’t able to get a good nursing session in for a few hours because of my lack of sensation in my arms and fingers to help her, but she got a little bit initially. 

A high epidural has some strange effects.  It made me appreciate how difficult it would be to be paralyzed.  They had to help me do everything, including turning me on my side to try and nurse.  I also found I couldn’t cough.  I had a cough stuck in my throat, but lacked the ability to actually cough.  It was really disorienting and made me realize why a chest cold is such a dangerous thing for somebody who is paralyzed. 

Another major difference between this birth and Zane’s is that this time there were several nurses that helped to clean me up really well.  They were gentle and thorough…didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get done, but rather taking the time to make sure I was comfortable and cleaned up well.  With Zane’s birth, I went home with all of the grossness of the entire stay still on me and Zach had to try and help me get clean at home, which required me to make a trip up a flight of stairs to accomplish. 

I also had the same reaction to anesthesia that I always seem to have.  I completely lose the filter between my brain and my mouth and talk non-stop.  As I come out of it a bit more, I am even able to recognize that I am doing that, but can not make myself shut up.  I drive myself crazy.  My mom always laughs at the point I start recognizing it myself because she gets to hear me griping about the fact I can’t make it stop.  lol

And finally, some time to get to know her.  We still didn’t know her name at this point, although there were a few names that just didn’t fit once we met her. 

ETA:  Link to Zach’s xanga post that day:  1st post, 2nd post